"Yes, Granny will call the cops..."

I apologize for my disappearance for the past couple of days. Between settling down, jet lag, grocery shopping, a temperamental Internet connection, and a near encounter with heat exhaustion, I've been busy.

So I'll try to keep this entry short and direct as I sum up the past week or so.

I spent most of Wednesday traveling to the East Coast, which took far longer than I thought it would. I was lucky enough on the plane that I was seated next to a pair of sisters who were heading back home for the fall, so we kept each other distracted for around 5 hours. After I disembarked, I was in a bit of a woozy state of exhaustion as I made my way down to the baggage claim, to the Shuttle area and onto the van. Let's simplify the 75 minute trip to say that D.C. traffic is scary and I may have inadvertently made quiet squeaky noises of fright. However, I made it safely to my apartment complex and room.

I am living with three other young women, and for once, I am one of the youngest in the group. (I believe that I am also on the younger end of the spectrum in the program. Most of the people in the International Affairs program appear to be in their senior year and/or are graduating soon.) As one of my roommates is from Mexico and another from Puerto Rico, there is a lot of Spanish being spoken. I don't mind it very much, but sometimes I do feel a little isolated. On the other hand, I don't mind a little isolation now and then, and my roommates make a constant effort to keep me in the loop about things, so it's not an issue.

What is an issue is the fact that the A/C is constantly on, and that it's freezing cold at night. I didn't bring a heavy or large blanket because I thought it wouldn't be a problem, given that it's still summer-like weather in D.C., but it is. So for now, I've been sleeping with my blanket, two nightgowns, my night robe, a folded sheet, and my heavy autumn/winter coat. It's been hit and miss so far on staying warm and comfortable throughout the night, but it's raining outside right now and the A/C is still on. I don't understand this. I really don't. Then again, where I come from, we don't have A/Cs because we don't need them.

I spent Thursday and Friday at Orientation and met Heather, my program advisor, for the first time face-to-face. It was odd how I saw her in the auditorium (which is very beautiful, especially the ceiling with the phases of the lunar cycle painted on it) and automatically thought, "That's Heather" without introductions. Then we went through the whole portfolio project that I will be doing throughout the semester and I had to fight not to burst into hysterical panicked giggles in the middle of the presentation. In the end, I managed to stay silent, though I did end up having to hide my facial expressions of hysterical dismay by taking lots of notes on my orientation booklet.

So, what sent me into a tizzy? Besides the whole "set goals for yourself this semester and how to achieve them" thing, (which I have a semi-decent idea of), I have to do some kind of community service project and conduct an informational interview. The community service project trips me up because while I don't mind volunteering, I'm not sure what I can do that is both an important issue and one that resonates with me. For example, I adore working with children and find a deep fulfillment in mentoring young minds, but childhood education is not an issue that I'm fired up over. I do what I do because I ought to, not because I'm out to change the world, if that makes any sense. The informational interview has me a bit queasy because I'm not comfortable with interacting with "important people," particularly in those first few moments when I have to snag their attention and settle my nerves so I can talk to them like the normal people they are.

On Thursday afternoon, we went to visit the State Department. As people who were in the room can attest to on Sunday night, there was a bit of CAPS LOCK JOY from me when I got the email from Heather. However, reality was slightly different and a bit of a downer. I had hoped that we'd get to see the State Department, but instead, we were escorted (literally) into a conference room for a presentation on careers at the State Department. I listened, but given that my post-graduation plans for the past two years have involved the Foreign Service, there wasn't much new information that I could get. However, it was nice to listen to a young man who joined up as an FSO eight years ago and his experiences and duties at various postings. Then, a senior FSO came in (he joined the same year that I was born, so can anyone say "experienced"?) to talk with us, and that's when I perked up. I've talked with a diplomat-in-residence and a recently retired diplomat over the past two years; both of them have had stellar careers. The former is one of the first female FSOs hired in the 1970s, I think, and the latter has had a similarly long career in the State Department. So I hope that this Foreign Service Officer will be my third person, and that he will also be my informational interview. He's a busy man, judging by his biography, but we've got three and a half months to stuff me into his schedule somewhere, so we'll see... :) On Friday, I think Heather was pleased to hear that I was ready to start on my portfolio so soon when I asked if she could read the email draft that I had written up on Thursday night. I'll probably send it out sometime late this week, or after I get a handle on what's going on at NDU, whichever comes first.

On Friday, we had a mass Orientation program, with all 350 of us interns gathered in one place. The presentations were interesting, though I was most amused by the Student Life director with his lovely sense of humor. I wish I had recorded that particular part of the Orientation. In case you were wondering, yes, he did warn us that if we make too much noise, "Granny will call the cops" on us. :D I don't know why I'm so amused by that line, but I am. The Safety and Security presentation was a little bit unnerving, but that's par on course. I'm in D.C., where the first thing I heard when I got off the plane after "Welcome to Baltimore International Airport" was "The current threat level, as determined by the Secretary of Defense, is Orange." ... Precisely.

I shouldn't be so amused/terrified by this thought, but I figure that NDU's emergency procedures will keep me very safe and very alive if anything happens. Naturally, I fervently hope that I will have no cause to test that hypothesis.

As interns, the Center wants us to reflect on our journey, to be "introspective." At this point, I still don't know what I'm going to do to show "growth" and "contemplation." There's this line in the sand between personal and professional, and I know I trip over that line from time to time. A lot of my growth will simply come from proving myself wrong, over and over again. It will be about changing the way I think about things, of putting aside weaknesses and tearing down mental barriers, but...there are issues that I don't want to talk about in a public forum. When people talk about not settling for "the Best" but to be "Great," I find myself squirming inside because I don't have the ego to be "Great." I'm content with serving and protecting, of moving behind the scenes and staying far away from the spotlight. That's why I enjoy the idea of the Foreign Service so much, because I can serve my country and do good while not having to jump through hoops as a politician. Maybe that's a bit of a rosy view of what I can do as an FSO, but so far, I don't think I'd have regrets becoming a U.S. diplomat.

Who knows, maybe this internship will send me onto a career path as an academic or a member of the U.N.'s inspection team or something else entirely. Nothing is set in stone, and I will have to take each day as it comes.

On Saturday, I went on the Georgetown walking tour, just for fun, and because I promised (my parents, namely, Mother) myself that I would go out and socialize and see D.C. while I'm here. I have plans to visit the memorials again, particularly Arlington. I'm thinking about visiting there on Memorial Day, but it might be too crowded and I'm not the type who likes to cry in front of people. Plus, there might be memorials that I need to attend at NDU that day as well, so I don't know.

Back to Georgetown... It was probably a mistake to go on Saturday, given the weather. It was extremely hot and sunny, with little breeze, and while I drank a lot of water and tried to stay in the shade when I could, I believe that I was probably only minutes away from collapsing from heat exhaustion when I got back to the apartment. On the shuttle ride back, I had such a bad headache that I was crying from the pain. I think I scared my roommates when I came in, because later that night, after I had a nap and dinner, one of them remarked that I was looking a lot less pale than earlier.

So on Sunday, yesterday, I took it easy and simply stayed at "home" after sleeping in. I didn't want to push myself into an actual collapse and I haven't actually started feeling like myself again until today. I basically napped on and off all of yesterday, sleeping whenever I felt like it.

This morning, I went shopping with my roommates for food, including breakfast for tomorrow, which I believe will be a fruit bar and then if I find a Starbucks or similar coffee place, mocha and a cake or something. The rest of the day has been spent on the computer, writing up a running journal, and finally getting wireless internet for our apartment. However, the wireless connection has nothing to do with the temperamental landline connection we have. C'est la vie.

Tomorrow, my internship starts bright and early, so I'll be going to bed early tonight in order to be bright-eyed and bushy tailed come 6:00 AM. If the Metro is going to break down, I'm not going to let it make me late! (I am also expecting to get lost, miss a direction here or there, get turned around, and have to work up my nerve to walk up to the sentry at the front gate with a confident smile that doesn't scream, "I'm nervous about making a good impression, can you tell?" that it is necessary that I add in some extra time for my sanity and peace of mind.)

I'll hopefully be able (aka coherent/awake enough) to check-in with you all tomorrow.